Hey Amy!

April showers bring May flowers…but what do May flowers bring?  Pilgrims.

I couldn’t resist beginning this post with the corny 2nd grade riddle.  I thought it may lighten my mood as I write today about the rude behavior of my fellow man.  I live in a very crowded city–New York.  Hundreds of thousands of people crowd the sidewalks daily as they are making their to jobs, homes, appointments and when it rains, the sidewalks are like a war zone.  Umbrellas are flying every which way and unfortunately their masters believe themselves to be the only one on the sidewalk.  Today I am sharing some advice for umbrella etiquette.  In no particular order, here are the various bad behaviors I have witnessed and my suggestions on ways to improve.

1. The oncoming traffic.  Most walking traffic moves at different speeds.  When it’s pouring rain, many find a little extra energy to walk more swiftly than usual as one would like to get out of the weather.    That usually means having to pass others on the sidewalk.  If the weather is gorgeous this is a simple task but add the approximate 2 1/2 foot span of an umbrella (both yours, theirs and the oncoming traffic) and it’s almost impossible.  One will practically poke others in the eye as one bullies through the pack.  Be patient and wait for a break in the mob and then pass with care.  Think as if one is driving an automobile.
   
2. Tight covered walkways. There is a enormous building being built across the street from my apartment building.  It’s taller than all the other buildings around me except for the Empire State Building.  It’s really tall.  All around the construction site are those enclosed covered walkways that are usually about 2 persons wide–one body traveling in each direction, right?  I really can’t understand why people don’t close their umbrellas when walking through these areas.  They are covered so rain is not being pummeled upon you.  The space is barely wide enough for each of us to pass through, how do you expect to get your umbrella through the space without scratching my face (yes this has happened) with the tips of your wing span?  Or by catching the tip in my hair?  If you must keep your umbrella open, dart your arm straight up in the air so your umbrella is higher than the bodies walking through the space.
   
3. Old school umbrella tucked under the armpit. Today it lightly sprinkled so many people had their umbrellas with them but did not have them open.  Most people own the collapsible, tuck away in your bag or briefcase style these days but their are a few (myself included) who love the old school umbrella that has a lovely ornate handle and does not collapse.  It can and should be used as a walking stick or tucked nicely over your wrist so it travels vertical to the ground.  That was not the case today as I was walking home and I came face to face with a sharp tip of an umbrella tucked under a man’s armpit.  THE WORST WAY TO TRAVEL WITH YOUR UMBRELLA.  I could have lost my eye.  It was that close to me.  Of course he did not apologize nor think to take it out.  He was engrossed in his blackberry (that is another day’s conversation).  Please do not endanger others by carrying this style in this manner.
   
4. Carrying it as if it were a parasol. I have very little to say here.  Not only does it defeat the purpose of the umbrella, you are blocking the view of those people behind you.  And contrary to what you may think, that is not very ladylike.
   
5. The shake. You have been walking for blocks in a torrential downpour.  You feel soaked to the bone and are anxious to get out of the rain.  Please, do not shake your umbrella like a Polaroid picture when you are indoors.  Not only are you ruining the flooring and decor around you but you could very well attack a passerby who does not care to have a shower from the contents lingering on your umbrella.   If you can, lightly tap the umbrella while you are coming through the front door and close it as soon as you get inside.  If it is drenched with water, most places have an umbrella stand.  Or close it up tightly and put it back in it’s covering.
   
6. Not-so-cute childrens umbrellas.  Very few children are taught how to hold them thus poking my legs or hips and when they are not paying attention literally wipe the exterior of their umbrellas on me.  No thank you.  Please have your child walk with you under your umbrella.
   
7. Golf umbrellas.  Come on people.  Help me out here.  The sidewalk is crowded enough without your giant umbrella that forces me to step out into the street while a speeding taxi splashes the entire Atlantic Ocean all over me.

I hope most of you who read this will think to yourself, ‘this is really all common sense’.  In my eyes, that really what manners are.  It’s taking a minute to think about someone other than yourself.  Think about how your actions will impact others.  Next time the heavens open and the earth is saturation with the sweet smell of rain, think of you and your umbrella.

xo–me

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