Hey Amy!

A few of you have written asking me what to do when you have forgotten someone’s name and are in the position to introduce said person to another.  I have always introduced the other first in the hopes the person whom I have forgotten will then extend their hand (or simply smile) and say “Pleasure to meet you, I am (insert forgotten name here).”  If they do not figure it out and offer that courtesy to both you and the nameless one, I simply look the nameless person in the eye and say “I apologize but I seem to have forgotten your name”.  That is my advice but of course I cannot leave you without referencing the wisdom of Ms. Emily Post.  She says:

When you are talking with someone whose name you are struggling to remember and a friend joins you and looks inquiringly from you to the nameless person, there is nothing you can do but introduce your friend to the stranger by saying to the latter, “Oh haven’t you met Janet Cartozian?”

Hopefully, the stranger will be tactful and understanding enough to announce his own name.  If he says nothing, however and Janet Cartozian makes matters worse by saying, “You didn’t tell me your friend’s name,” the situation reaches the height of embarrassment.  The only solution then is to be completely frank, admit you do not remember the name, and ask them to complete the introduction themselves.

If you don’t learn another thing from this book, I would consider it a success if I could persuade you, when meeting someone who obviously does not remember your name (or even someone who might not remember it), to offer it at once.  Never say, “You don’t remember me, do you?” and then stop.  Start right out with “Hello I’m Marjorie Wynne, I met you at the Schoonmakers last Memorial Day.”

So says Emily Post.  If you learn one thing from her book via this post, please memorize the last paragraph.  Ms. Post and I will be proud.

xo–me

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